Kitchen You vs. Front of House You

This continues from last week’s post regarding authenticity.

You have two ways of behaving:

Your true nature.
How you behave when with others.

Table 7 Are Complete D**ks

These two roles are like the waiting staff at a restaurant: while in the kitchen, they yell at each other with no pretence or politeness, in order to get the job done as quickly as possible. However, as soon as they leave the kitchen and enter the world of the customers, they present an effortlessly helpful and efficient persona.

Another example: office workers telling each other rude jokes and scoffing chocolate, then suddenly answering the phone with a formal, measured, professional tone. And trying not to sound like they still have some Double Decker in their gob.

And another: parents keeping their cool with their rude children, and then using expletives when describing the little darlings’ behaviour to another adult. Tut.

We all do this at some point in our lives – it’s the equivalent of changing out of smart clothes into something comfortable when you get home. It can be very useful to put on your game face when it matters, and then relax your approach when unseen.

Facade Charade

The problem is, maintaining the external image requires effort and can create a strain (like the swan: graceful on the surface while paddling frantically beneath it). Also, what if people see through the veneer? This could be a customer hearing the waiter swearing, or someone hearing the person on the other end of the phone insulting them while covering the mouthpiece, or the child hearing a rude word about said them (tut again). All are depressing situations that destroy trust, which can feel like betrayal – never a good thing.

Become the Maitre D’

The solution? Bring the two closer together: try to make your game face more natural, and your off-stage attitude more professional. Then the transition is more natural, and each persona more authentic. The final goal is that they become the same, requiring no effort at all: friendly and efficient.

Put On the Suit – Become a Hero

Freaks, Geeks and Weirdos

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