The biggest opponent in your self-development isn’t the boss who criticises your work or the family member who doubts your ability to succeed. It’s not even the inherent limit of your skills and determination.
It’s you, telling yourself a negative story, allowing the negative voices to damage your potential.
‘The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself.’ – Friedrich Nietzsche
What story do you tell yourself? Is it how you always mess things up, that you’re hopeless, flawed, broken? (That one was in my head for a looong time.)
This story is nonsense, of course. It’s just persistent. You have no inherent limit of skill or determination; your potential is limitless.
What would a trusted friend or colleague tell you instead? They’d list all the positives about you: your achievements, what they admire about you, what they enjoy. It seems to be a British mindset to forget (or simply ignore) the amazing things we have achieved and the strengths we possess. You’re in the centre of your world and so you don’t have the perspective to recognise them (your nearest and dearest may also be too close to see your positive qualities or consider them noteworthy).
And the negatives? With the help of a trusted friend, the negatives shrink, their significance diminishes; your bad choices and experiences become funny stories, necessary stepping stones to becoming who you are today. Accept them and move on. Your scars are medals of what you’ve overcome. (I can thoroughly recommend swearing while referring to the negatives – it feels very, very good.)
Start right now! Write out all the good stuff on a piece of paper: your positive qualities, the wonderful things you’ve achieved. Create a narrative around THAT stuff.
Tell yourself a true, positive story. One that serves you.
Remove your limits.
The best way to defeat an opponent? Treat them like a friend.