In my opinion, the antidote to your fear of public speaking has two vital steps, neither of which you’re going to like*.
1.) Prepare as thoroughly as you can for your talks and conversations. (I have loads of advice for that, and obviously there’s other advice all over the internet). I know it’s a pain having to write material and rehearse, but consider it the speaking equivalent of going to the gym to get fit for your chosen sport. Good rehearsal – where you change things slightly each time, and attempt to simulate the experience of speaking as accurately as possible – is the part that many speakers don’t dedicate enough (or any) time to, a decision that they will always regret.
2. Get as much speaking experience as you can. Every single time is an opportunity to develop your skills. The impact of any ‘failures’ (stumbles or errors) will be far smaller than you think, and is far outweighed by the impact of your successes (moments of connection, clarity, authenticity and even laughs), all of which you can add to your arsenal of techniques for subsequent talks. Like step 1, this step requires dedication and hard work, but – to continue my fantastic fitness metaphor – it’s like playing a competitive match of your chosen sport; the experience will build you as a speaker. Record your talks and analyse them to see how you can improve (and to see that it probably went a lot better than you thought).
Repeat these two steps.
Develop your skills.
Become confident!
* Sorry to break it to you, but it’s probably best you hear it from me.